Positive Strides

That slow driver.

Your bestie.

The telemarketer.

Your mom.

The friend you always have to call.

Grandma.

The nosy neighbor.

Your kids.

The receptionist in the understaffed office.

Your spouse.

Each of these people plays a role in your life. Some positive, some negative. So, I’ll ask… how are you treating them? Are your reactions the same? Undoubtedly, the state of irritation strikes us all & most likely, on the regular. To say you & I never snap back is just a bold face lie. I mean seriously, let one of those tiny humans forget their book bag when you’re already running late & watch out! Or when the scheduling juggle is so real, but the doctor doesn’t seem to mind that he’s an hour behind. Girl, trust me, I hear that inner Hulk in you.

But, I teach first graders & at the start of each day we have a morning meeting. Just after the calendar & directly before the read aloud we turn our attention to the Kindness Counts board. Each day we collectively decide one way we can spread kindness in the smallest of ways & the students have the day to complete the challenge. They are encouraged to act in the same kind way outside of the school walls as well. On top of that, we say were sorry when we’ve hurt one another’s feelings. Thoughtful apologies are expected and given for both physical & emotional pain. To say that a big part of my day is dedicated to empathy & kindness toward others is pretty spot on. It’s how we roll in Room 20.

Oh the parents love it. They are so thrilled to see & hear all of the kindness surrounding the classroom. It’s some feel good stuff. But, let me make this next point very clear. I don’t promote kindness as a people pleaser. We don’t apologize because it’s a noble hoop to jump through. Harm isn’t addressed because I’m avoiding a nastygram from an adult. It’s because it’s the RIGHT THING TO DO. It’s practiced so that it’s lived.

As adults though, are we habitual with our empathy? Do you apologize when it’s warranted & do you accept those given to you? Do you challenge yourself to spread kindness on a daily basis? You expect the kids to, right? Uh oh…you know where I’m going with this don’t you?

Peace, kindness, and empathy are like boomerangs. If you put them out there, I promise they’re coming back. Even better, the more you live in kindness, the more you receive. I challenge you to give me any situation where kindness doesn’t win.

Yep, that slow driver is really jamming up your plans, but you have no idea why he’s not in a hurry to get where he’s going. You don’t know him. Today’s kind act of just backing off might shed light on the idea that maybe he’s taking his time returning his wife to the nursing home to savor their few remaining minutes together.

That annoying phone call you receive just as your butt hits the seat at the dinner table is most likely a telemarketer. What’s this conversation truly going to take? Maybe 30 seconds? Even the president & the Pope have 30 seconds to spare people. A kind, “no thank you” goes a long way. Despite their accent, that’s an actual person on the line. Hit ignore if you can’t bear the conversation, but chill out on the nasty talk.

So YOU always have to call that one friend. She’s fun & you have a great time together, but she never initiates the call. Sound about right? Have you ever considered that she looks forward to your call? That feeling of being wanted can be pretty powerful. Does it honestly matter who makes the plans? In the end you’re together & that’s why you made the call in the first place. Call that a win-win.

The nosy neighbor just thinks you’re cool. For real. Why else would she invest so much time? Invite her over. Bake her some cookies. If you’re “kitchen-challenged” like me, snag a small gift card to the Farmer’s Market and brighten her mailbox with a kind surprise. Her tone will soften & interests will be more genuine. If that’s too much to ask, the exchange of a simple smile & wave every day might birth a new found respect for one another.

And for the love of all things people, stop coming down hard on the receptionists. Secretaries too. I bet if you asked them, they are just as annoyed. What goes on behind the waiting room is beyond their control. Sharp words won’t fix that. Instead remind yourself of the times when the pressure is on you. The times when you are trying to place a call on hold, find your loyalty card, wrangle the kids, and bag the groceries in the supermarket line. Now you’re the multitasking-receptionist & she’s standing behind you with three items in her cart. Empathy works both ways.

I love all of you! I do. You’re the reason I write this blog. I don’t want you to be the same person after each read though. I want you to be better. Hell, I want me to be better. And we can do that if we just place ourselves back into that classroom space where kindness & empathy are paramount. I can’t be the only one who has a desire to change the trend of selfishness & entitlement. I know you’re feeling me on that one. So let’s lead by example. Let’s do this one thing because it’s the RIGHT thing.

Let’s revisit that youthful kindness.

I wear many hats. Both figuratively & literally.

I wear the mom hat. The teacher hat. The coach hat. The wife hat. The friend hat. The faithful hat. And, of course, I sport the runner hat.

I literally own over 50 hats. Each lid with it’s own unique style, but serving the same purpose. I sense your concern, but there’s no need for an intervention friends, I wear them all. In fact, I’m an ambassador for BoCo Gear, a company based in Boulder, Colorado who’s purpose is to design custom athletic head gear & accessories, and, well…they accumulate.

But, why the love of hats?

They are my cue. My cue to tap into the grit.

I’ve been blessed with the gift of running. It’s a passion and as I see it, running isn’t something I HAVE to do. It’s something I GET to do. Despite the many figurative hats I wear, it’s the donning of a snapback or a beanie that cues the gritty runner in me to lace up and chase goals. I may hold many titles, but one of my truest forms is in full stride with my hat flipped back & my Garmin running. It’s my happy place. It’s also the space that allows me to recenter, focus, create, and prove myself. Starting to sound like a place you might want to visit as well, huh? Colorado is sounding pretty good right about now too.

Really it isn’t a hat that I’m putting on, but rather a mindset. One that carries me through dark, cold, and windy workouts. A mindset that pushes against limitations in a speed session. It’s a mindset that transcends the heat, ignores the fatigue, and refuses mediocracy. I’m not “just a mom,” “just a teacher” or “just a runner” in those times. I’m my best version of those things.

And whether or not a middle-aged mom has the public’s blessing to pound the pavement with her backwards ball cap, crop top, and running shorts is really not a concern of mine. In fact, those opinions don’t matter, but my self-worth does.

So, to anyone looking to create lasting, healthy habits by moving your body each day, I say find your cue. Don your own hat. Pack your gym pack. Lay out your clothes the night before. Buy those sneakers. Rely on your cue to trigger the good habit & then reap the rewards.

Live your best life, right on cue!

Can we be honest with each other for a minute?

We all know perfection has no endpoint. I mean, it’s no surprise that we can’t think of one human who’s flawless, right?

So why are we all trying to be? Why are we all trying to post that perfect picture, schedule that unmatched vacation, starve ourselves for that ideal jean size, or hang on acceptance? Why are we trying to walk through life without relying on others? What’s with the self-prophesied solo quest?

Listen, it is no coincidence at all that my life has exponentially improved since deciding to truly lean in to God, my family, the absolute best friends, and mentors.

As I see it now, everything I have was earned, but given to me in just the right moments. Each success came with a lesson. Every challenge was twisted into an opportunity. I’ve been blessed with more than I could have ever imagined. Does that mean I live in a state of perfection?

Uhhh, h#%* nah!

Stress is present. Complaints arise. Opinions still sting. The difference is perspective.

If we honestly examined the experiences each of us has, we’d discover they really aren’t all that different. It’s our opinion of an experience that determines whether it’s positive or negative.

Get this, a friend of mine, who I always look to as a means of remaining grounded, told me the other day that she & her staff were worn out after “one of those weeks.” You know the ones I’m talking about? Like one of Jon Gordon’s “energy vampires”, they suck all of the goodness from your soul. After she fought off complaints & blocked the negativity that riddled her work week, she told me a coworker had approached her & said “I wish I could be like you”, referencing her cheerful disposition. Without hesitation she replied “You can.” In fact, she followed that response with “We get to be above the dirt, you get that, right?” Just let that one liner marinate for a second. These two had the same week, but they didn’t see it that way.

Now, you should know, this friend, she has battled that nasty c word. She has overcome cervical cancer and two years after that, breast cancer. She’s in the midst of a six year prescription regimen & gets a preventative IV infusion twice a year. As a wife & mother of two, she’s had the scare of her life TWICE and SHE is who this co-worker wants to be more like.

Are you guys picking up what I’m putting down here? This guy wants a crack at a life that is far from easy.

Obviously she’s never asked for a life changing illness, nor would any one of us. Matter of fact, why don’t we take this moment to strike the idea of waiting for a life threatening situation to actually change how you’re living. Mmm’k pumpkin?

Nonetheless, having cancer shifted her perspective. This woman could have easily hopped right onto the complaint train, but instead punched her ticket on her own energy bus & this seemingly healthy dude wants to ride along. I can only hope he decides this is his moment to really lean in.

That’s all we truly need to do to discover our purpose, passions, and happiness. Lean in.

Lean into God. Know that your faith is a picture of what hasn’t yet happened. If you’re looking for perfection, you’re looking for God. He makes no mistakes. That includes you.

Lean into a loved one. Know their love without them having to articulate it in words. If that connection is taxed then call the babysitter & hit up your local spot. Oh, and leave your phone in the car. Throw it back to the original face time.

Lean into friends. The real ones. Not the 1,346 that follow you. Not the ones who you have to get dressed up for. Nope. I’m talking about the friends who check on you everyday. The ones who kick their shoes off & curl up with a blanket on your couch. The ones that play on your level, but force you to rise up. The friends who can “just tell” & show up. Vulnerability is not imperfection. It’s being real. Lean into their support.

Lean into family. Use their guidance. Tap into the wisdom that precedes you.

Lean into your children. Revisit the kid-like joy of childhood through your little ones.

Lean into those with more experience. In training to qualify for Boston I reached out to a friend who coaches. Guess what, as decorated & skilled as she is, she has a coach. She chooses to lean in.

Lean into co-workers. Not with complaints, but with the understanding that their week parallels yours. Feed & nourish one another with positivity. Find humor, not frustration.

Lean into mentors. Some of the biggest influencers in my life have no idea I exist. They are authors, bloggers, & celebrities that have used their platform to spread the good word. Lean into it.

You should never feel surrounded yet alone. You have people & a Greater power to lean into. Instead of carrying complaints, negativity, or the stresses of perfection, lay back into your faith. Lean on your support system. Rely on your community.

In turn, you will become the person that someone else can lean on.

When the stressors of life seem ever present or the growth of your complaint list rivals that mountain of laundry waiting at the base of the steps, know that my friend was absolutely right.

YOU CAN, lean in.

It was a simple card inked with a kind message that pressed the rewind button on my memory reel bringing it to a stop at the conclusion of my sixth grade school year. Reading the specific, handwritten words of a close friend placed me right back into a crowded middle school auditorium abuzz with all of the end of the year feels. Our sixth grade teaching staff had carefully coordinated an awards ceremony to commemorate the accomplishments of all of my pre-teen peers.

Classmates and friends were being called to the stage to accept their accolades for academic awards, extra-curricular recognition, and certificates of achievement. If my memory serves me correctly, I recall the program nearing its end when it was announced that the teacher’s had one final award to issue to just a few students. This award would be better described as a superlative, but it did come with it’s own certificate. Heeeey!

It was in this moment that I was asked to report to the stage to collect what was described to the audience as the “Sunshine Award.”

Ok, go ahead and excuse me as I date myself to describe this beaut. The back & white certificate was printed on old computer paper with a smiling, radiant sun centered mid-page in that old pixilated clip art of the past. In perfect cursive my name was scribed on the paper that read “In recognition of the helpfulness and friendship shown towards others” and it was signed on behalf of the sixth grade faculty. It was unique. I felt special, but, no pun intended, this award didn’t outshine any of the others in my opinion. Until later…

Since that day, my mother has seen me through many accomplishments such as earning a varsity letter for field hockey all four years of high school, a magna cum laude collegiate GPA, and building a collection of hardware from races won, just to name a few. You know which one she’s MOST proud of? Any guesses as to which award she still highlights? Yep. That Sunshine Award.

It’s not the quality of paper, fancy lettering, or color schemes that make an award valuable, it’s the reason you earned them that gives them worth.

It wasn’t until I read my friend’s words enclosed in that greeting card that I truly realized why my mom placed that award atop all the rest. It’s like this people, academics are important and so are extracurriculars, like sports. But how you treat people? How you make others feel? That’s what matters.

This post isn’t to boast of my successes, but to point out two things:

First and foremost, we have God given gifts & we should be using them daily. If you naturally brighten a room with your smile, light up a friend’s face with your presence, or carry a positive spirit, then baby, SHINE ON! Send those funny texts. Give that big bear hug. Drop off a small gift just because you can. Flash those pearly whites at EVERYONE you pass. Console a friend. Drive out of your way as a surprise. Plan the get togethers when no one else does. Tell the dad joke. Dance in aisle three…and four. Why? Because Lizzo isn’t belting out the lyrics “If I’m shinin’, everybody gonna shine!” not to be heard friends.

Secondly, whether it comes naturally or not, I want to stretch you a little bit. In the room that feels riddled with gossip, change the subject. Turn the self doubt of that lunch date conversation into motivation. Flip the script of an opinionated Facebook thread with a note of positivity. Meet the chaos of the early morning grind with an impromptu dance party. In that moment when you sense sadness, trust your instincts and give that dang hug. You hear me? Replace the sarcastic “living the dream” response with something you find to be a blessing. And let’s all do each other the solid of sharing our opportunities rather than our complaints. Keeping it real, I’m again putting me in that we.

If we intentionally seek the positive it will become habitual. Anything that’s a habit is more likely to occur without us even thinking about it. We will shine even when it seems dark.

How about I leave you with this thought.

As a teacher, I can tell you that in my own unofficial research, the number one thing every parent wants to know in every, single parent-teacher conference is “How does my child act in class?” Not, how many times did he ace his spelling test. Not what level is she on in reading. Nope. They want to know if they have friends. They want to know if they use their manners. Their inquiries are about how they treat others. They are in search of the same pride my mom had on the day my take home folder housed the very award she still feels is one of my greatest accomplishments.

So, are you making your parents proud by earning your Sunshine Award?

My clock read 5:22am when I sprang out of bed, grabbed my phone, & beads of sweat started to form. The 4:00am alarm had done it’s job, but it was that extra minute I decided to remain tucked in my warm bed that did me wrong. I had promised a dear friend I would run with her at 5:00am & it didn’t take but a millisecond to realize I wasn’t winning any awards for being prompt that day. The foundation of our friendship is solidly based on smack talk & inside jokes, so as you can imagine a picture of an empty parking lot & a smart text was delivered before I even realized the error of my ways. My fingers couldn’t type fast enough to express my apologies knowing she was waiting in the cold, dark, empty lot & I had just wasted her precious time.

I went into full “fix-it” mode.

Ok, I know she likes coffee. I should hurry the kids, get out of the house early, & stop & get her a cup. Wait… I know! I’ll grab her some breakfast. No. That’s a dumb idea. Oh, I’ve got it. Nah, that’s not going to work either. Ugggghh. I’m such a turd. What is wrong with me?

Wait a sec. What was I doing? This situation didn’t require damage control. I needed to pump my brakes & see it for what it was. An honest mistake.

Moments later, & a whole morning ahead of me, I had opened a Strava email (which is an app that tracks physical activity) that summarized my month. I had logged 145 miles in October. Of those miles, only a handful were solo weekend workouts. The majority of that work was spent as a rabbit for a few good running partners, including this dear friend. They have goals to chase & I’m in a space between training cycles that allows me to run for the fun of it. So, I’ve been their constant motivation meeting them each morning to get our sweat on.

However that last paragraph only highlights what happens before sunrise. Each day is filled with getting five people out the door before 7:30, a list of teacher duties that will never have an endpoint, setting up doctor’s appointments, purchasing birthday gifts, returning shoes that don’t fit, coordinating schedules, checking take home folders, packing lunches, finding a few minutes to play outside, bedtime routines, online school work, and finding a sliver of time to chat with the hubs before we come to the realization that tomorrow isn’t too far off. Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing though. We balance life like that every day. Every. day. We manage to execute what looks to be a flawless operation on the regular, only failing in one area. Giving ourselves credit. Rather, we choose to focus on what went wrong. Never mind the 87 things we did well. Nope, we marinate on the 1 slip up. That 1 morning we overslept. Right?

Instead of an apology in the form of a Dunkin Donuts muffin, Starbucks coffee, or some ultimately unnecessary gesture for my mistake in an attempt to “fix” my botched morning, I made the decision to see it all from a different angle. I reviewed my week. I mean, I’m not trying to brag, but, looking back, I’m pretty sure rocked it. Or at least today, I chose to see it that way. The truth is, my friend wasn’t mad at me. She understood. She had been there. Turns out a hug was all it took. I mean God Bless understanding friends. You know her name was inked in my gratitude journal that night.

This time, I gave myself credit.

I’m not looking for perfection. It’s unattainable. I’m human. So, moving forward, I’m going to give myself some grace with my mistakes. I will celebrate the successful schedule I uphold, recognize my errors but move on, & see the compassion that others offer. I’m asking you to do the same.

Here’s why it’s important. First off, you’re worth it. People, see your worth! But, secondly, & maybe even more importantly, you’re being watched.

My daughter recently came home with a spelling test tucked in the pocket of her folder. I checked over her work & that night at bedtime, I laid down beside her to congratulate her for a job well done. She aced it & I was a proud momma. You know what she said? In a little, deflated voice, she said, “Yeah mom, but I missed the challenge word.” Hold up! Are you serious right now kid? You flew through the pretest, studied & aced the beyond grade level list, & you’re laying here focused on that one challenge word? Oh sweet baby Jesus, that’s not cool. Sweet girl, see your worth. Give yourself some credit. Matter of fact, let’s do that together. You & momma.

Let’s all do it together. The next time you feel you’ve slipped. Imagine it rested on a balance. Now stack up all of those moments where you kicked @$$ that week on the opposite side. Your accomplishments will always outweigh the mistakes. Don’t discredit your efforts or downplay your awesomeness. Do me this solid & give yourself some credit.

Before you can even find that sweet spot in your seat, you know it’s coming. Within the first hour of your travels to the beach, weekend away in the mountains, or a professional sporting event those backseat words will inevitably be uttered. Are we there yet? Like a knee jerk reaction your response is “We just left the house!” We preach patience. We assure our passengers that we WILL arrive. It just takes time to get where we are going… doesn’t it?

Don’t think you skated through the week without me spitting some knowledge at you friends! But, truth be told, we all need to hear this message. I’m putting ME in that WE.

If you’re following my journey on social media, you know that I’ve recently decided to step outside of my comfort zone & pursue a calling in Health & Life Coaching. We all possess God-given talents & in my case, helping others comes naturally. My purpose becomes clearer with each day, so I’m choosing to be faithful & trust in a God that never fails. Metaphorically, I have just called “shotgun” in one of the most important road trips of my life. Alexa, play “Jesus Take the Wheel.”

No seriously. I am focused. I’m determined. I have intentionally put pen to paper with specific goals. My desired results have already been drawn up. But, then the “what ifs” sneak in. I see you nodding. You know exactly what I’m talking about. When the doubts sneak in you should just go ahead & avoid them like bronchitis. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Having a vivid vision of what I have predetermined as my results is so instrumental in measuring my success. But, like a kid with a Christmas list, I want it NOW! The fire is lit. The passion is present. Hit the gas Big Man, I’ve got places to be! It becomes so obvious in these moments that I’m no different than those tiny passengers yelling out, “Are we there yet?”

We all do it. We all rush the present in pursuit of what will be. It’s a greater power that pumps the breaks, when we all get a bad case of lead foot. Rightly so. We need to slow down. We need to be grateful for what is. The reminder to appreciate the present keeps us from resisting what is meant to be. Of course our actions act as the navigation, but our ETA is never guaranteed. There are good things in your life RIGHT NOW. Can it get better? Absolutely. Now THAT’S a guarantee. But in the meantime, create & live in a space of gratitude. Choose to be present. Reassure yourself in these unclear moments with the recognition of gratitude. I genuinely encourage you to write them down. No time? Stop scrolling for three minutes. Boom! There’s your time. Before my head hits the pillow & the click of my bedside light darkens the room, I write down 10 things I’m grateful for. They range from being surrounded in support to the margherita pizza I housed at lunch. Judgement free zone, kids. This daily habit allows me to wake up in search of the good. It promotes gratitude. Grab yourself a journal & try it.

My road trip to a dual certification from the Health Coach Institute in underway. My goal is to graduate in May, 6 months from now. But, the receipt of my certification is merely a pitstop in my travels. Many miles lie ahead of each milestone I will reach. So, I think I’ll kick my feet up on the dash, open the windows to all the feels, and be present as a passenger. No need to wonder, “Are we there yet?”

There was a small monitor above our heads to display the picture of what would ultimately change the course of our lives forever. We were positioned perfectly to fix our gaze on the ever-changing, black & white images on the screen. That’s when she said it. I can still hear the technician’s voice as if she were standing by my side today. “Triplets.”

With a wide-eyed glance at once another, nervous laughter filled the room & took the place of the silence that preceded the confirmation that we were indeed expecting a child. Or should I say three.

I lived guys. Seriously, I’m ok. The three blessings that were announced that day just turned 6 & I’m just as much in awe of that fact as you are. Actually, it wasn’t just the declaration of multiples that stood out in the office that day. Darren & I were escorted to another room & given a few moments to debrief with one another as the physician’s & staff met separately. Moments later the door opened & we were greeted with some hesitation. It’s important to note that my husband & I had help with both pregnancies under the care of fertility specialists. They were phenomenal & we are still in contact with the amazing staff. But, I will never forget the next sentence that was uttered. “We are so sorry Mr. & Mrs. Groft.”

Sorry?

Did she say “We are sorry?”

The words “For what?” flew right out of my mouth.

As I mentioned, these staff members became our friends & our relationship was & still is very positive. Their goal was made clear from the jump. One healthy baby. Obviously there are exceptions & in the fertility world multiples are common. Nonetheless, in their minds they messed up.

A staff member checked my vitals at this point & was shocked to discover that my blood pressure and heart rate were remarkably low given the situation. She even commented on how calm & poised we both seemed.

Unbeknownst to that staff, I’ve replayed those words over & over in my head many times following that appointment. The words resonate because although I had no idea what my life would become as a mother of four, I knew it was all part of the greater plan. I was ok with not being in control of my path. I was being a faithful follower. We were being given what He knew we could handle.

Fast forward through 6 birthday celebrations made complete with three cakes, three special friends, & three sets of gifts amongst family & friends and you will find that it wasn’t the just the kids who did the growing. Girl, this duo has evolved! The news of those babies opened the door to who we were truly destined to be.

Patience? Thought we had that. Now we KNOW we do. Flexibility? Eat your heart out Gumby. Problem solving? You bet. Counseling? We should really charge for that built-in service. Drinks? We have them. Essentially we have embraced our roles as ringmasters of the controlled chaos that ensues every day. On the flip side, do we get mad? Of course we do. Lose our temper? What did you just say to me? Forget their football cleats for the game? Uh…yes. But on the regular we are doing what every one of you are doing. Our best.

Do you ever really sit back and think about what you accomplish in a day? I mean, some of you reading this are the most talented multitaskers I have ever witnessed. I’d venture to say that in the span of one day you most likely accomplish that which would’ve taken you a week as a tight bodied twenty-something.

I see you. You’re the first to rise & last to rest. Not one of the multiple lunches you pack daily is missing healthy choices & a sweet note. I see you. Your personal planner is more complex than the blueprint for NASA’s newest rocket. And that sports schedule? It has nothing on your multitasking skills. I see you. You’re the one that can change diapers while still in REM sleep. You are the friend that reaches out daily. You manage to work in date nights & make sure the grandparents have the latest school photos. I see you. You’re the head coach of your kid’s team because you raised your hand just to offer help. You’re squashing sibling squabbles & offering advice with more ease than Dr. Phil. The only day you’re not at work on time, is the one where you’re volunteering in the classroom. Trust me, I see you!

YOU ARE KILLING IT!

You know that right?

Give yourself some credit. View yourself with the value that you truly possess. Look at the growth you’ve made in the last few years of your life. Now hear this, the next years are going to be your best years. You’re only getting better.

Sure, our lives changed drastically 6 years ago. But they changed when we met as high school students. They changed when we got married. They changed when we became parents of a beautiful baby girl. They changed when we took on our jobs & completed our graduate schooling. They changed through coaching. They changed through training. They changed when we purchased our first home, then again when it was too small. They changed when our trio learned to walk & when we enrolled them in preschool. We adapt & become experts at each new stage in life. If there’s anything that stays the same, it’s change. Embrace the change. Own your path, learn from the mistakes, & for the love, celebrate your successes! Congratulate yourself by looking back on each day & recognizing all of the blessings that make up your “busy.” Our world is filled with people praying for your kind of busy. Love it as you live it.

Never be SORRY.

I’m competitive by nature. I love to turn anything into a game, even catching leaves on the run! I guess you call that being competitive IN nature. But people, it’s LEAF CATCHING SEASON!

All together now, “What the H is that?”

Fall brings about change. Leaves turn to vibrant versions of themselves & then give way to a new season. The combination of this annual phenomenon & my passion for pounding the pavement creates a new opportunity for play. The challenge? Snag one of these wilting beauties just as it lets go & glides to the ground without breaking stride.

Think it’s easy? Try it. Pokémon Go has nothing on Leaf Season.

It’s tough.

Why though?

The difficulty isn’t in the actual grabbing of the leaf, but in the timing. Timing is everything. The celebration after is full of awesome as well but, let’s stay focused.

Some leaves spin & twirl far out in front of you.

Some leaves drop after you’ve passed.

Some leaves tease you by dancing wildly above your head with the promise that if you wait they would land in your paw.

Some leaves are slow to fall, while others seem to rush toward the ground.

But then there are those leaves that were destined to be caught. They let go & gently float in the breeze at the perfect moment as you pass by and they meet your grasp.

Many of my runs have been made complete with a crunchy capture. Conversely, weeks have also passed without a single opportunity. Peaks & valleys, friends.

This colorful season of play parallels life in the sense that all of our opportunities, milestones, & events are perfectly placed.

Are you hearing that? Perfectly. Placed.

Leaves will fall when they are meant to fall. No amount of willing can bring that leaf down.

Life is no different.

We do have control of our actions, but our plan is pre-determined. It’s in this space that it’s important to remember that where we lack power, we can substitute faith. Not knowing when that leaf will fall or that prayer will be answered is part of the plan. Let’s face it, if we were privy to the blueprint of our entire life we would most certainly mess it up. We’d change the difficult parts or rearrange events to accommodate our own preferences. We’d skip over lessons that need to be learned & miss their purpose. There’s meaning in the sequence of life events & we should really learn to trust the process. We all struggle with showing patience in the face of the unknown. I am part of that we.

As we carry on at own pace those leaves that fall before we arrive weren’t meant to be caught. They weren’t placed within arm’s length purposely. Those are lessons, opportunities, & breakthroughs that we aren’t yet ready for. Keyword… yet!

The ones that drop after we’ve passed by are the past. That’s where they belong, behind us. No need to look back. You’re not going that way.

The fan favorite is the leaf that descends ever so perfectly & is effortlessly caught without any shift in momentum. These were meant to be. These little nuggets from above are part of the plan.

And then there are those leaves that we never saw coming. The ones we couldn’t picture. With a sudden gust of wind they are sent sailing through space pinning themselves against us. These are the unexpected gifts we receive & never knew we needed. Hello triplets!

Don’t forget about the many leaves that we step over on our path. They shouldn’t be seen as missed opportunities. Nope. Those beauties belong to someone else.

You may never lace up and race through the fall foliage with childlike enthusiasm as I do, but chances are you’ll will walk amongst the leaves. When you do be sure to grab onto that tiny part of your plan that falls perfectly into your palm & remember God is never late.

It’s just before 7am.

There’s the petite chick that can’t weigh more than 100lbs soaking wet, in the cutest top.

The tall, lanky guy who could seemingly out stride a giraffe.

A middle aged women pacing anxiously wondering if she should use the port a potty again.

Somehow there’s a dude bouncing around who already has a funky case of B.O.

A posse of ladies can be heard from all angles because they’ve brought as much energy as glitter.

There’s a older women on the verge of retirement who thrown together like a brick house.

Naturally there’s plenty of seasoned athletes looking poised & focused in the best gear.

And inevitably there’s an old guy strolling around rocking an old school headband, high school gym shorts, & a plain white cotton tank that we all know will be blood stained in a few hours.

They are here to race. However, the pre-race once overs beg the question “Wait, YOU run?”

They do. Each of them fills a spot on the race director’s participant list. They are all self proclaimed runners. Within moments they will all be standing shoulder to shoulder, shoes tied tight, Garmin ready, & music cued. To the onlooker they all seem so different. Even their warm up routines prove that their running gaits are unique to themselves.

We often stereotype in situations, like a race, just as we do in life. So routinely we imagine races where everyone is a picture of health, sporting the latest gear, & attach the assumption they’re all fast. That’s fake news. Comparatively, in life we envision those who are fit, wealthy, or popular to be the standard in which we should all be measured. Ha! The problem is, these generalizations couldn’t be farther from the truth. The fact of the matter is that these race participants are considered runners, not because they look the part, but because they put one foot in front of the other. They all deservingly have their place on that starting line. So what unifies them all? Their common goal.

At the end of the day each finisher will walk away with a medal around their neck & a complementary race shirt. Everyone of them will have accomplished the same task regardless of how they look.

We are all equal in the end, right?

Right.

We tend to only see that. I’m talking about the end. When it’s all said & done. We don’t see what it took to get there.

Maybe we should look closer at the middle. That part the leads up to crossing the finish. There’s meaning in that part. There’s purpose behind each person’s decision to even register. There’s value in every stride it took to earn that medal.

So, let’s picture that cute, petite runner again. She’s running to prove to herself that a strong body trumps one that’s a result of an eating disorder. Get after it sis!

The tall, lanky guy? He’s misses the thrill of a sport. Ever since an ACL tear in college he’s been sidelined & now he wants to push his limits. Boy, you better go get it done!

Our middle-aged momma is a mother of three who hasn’t missed a fundraiser pick up, forgotten the cute lunchbox note, or bedtime story while training for her first race post babies. She’s likely more worried if the kids had breakfast & are dressed appropriately to cheer for her on course than actually finishing the race. She’s running to remind herself that her goals matter too. She’s one of my people!

The stinky dude. He’s always there. He lives for this environment. It’s what gets him fired up. He’s racing to hold onto a staple success in his life. It’s your world buddy, live it up!

That posse of sparkling energy is comprised of two full time working moms, a recently divorced women, a wife who’s husband doesn’t understand why she runs, & a bride with her two best friends who want to get in shape for the upcoming nuptials. Don’t ever let anyone dull your shine ladies!

The brick house? She’s out to prove that age ain’t nothing but a number. #goals

Those natural athletes who stand on the starting line looking poised are actually just as anxious as the first timers. They are there to chase down dreams. It’s PRs and BQs that they hope to snag. Their anxiety has value. The day they don’t get nervous prior to the gun is the day they’ll decide to retire their singlet. You my friends are the people that make the running community awesome!

And that old gym class hero sporting his lawn mowing sneaks, he’s running because his doctor cleared him to exercise following a triple bypass surgery. He decided that it was time to make his health a priority. I say, LET’S GO big fella!

A personal reason accompanies each one of the runners on their journey to completing this race. Each one of them is actively choosing to better themselves. No one gets the right to question that. Some will methodically run, never wavering in pace. Others will plod along knowing the time cap will be an issue. Some will race smart & finish strong, while others will come out hot & struggle to finish. There will be tears of joy & anguish at different mile markers. The finish line will produce all the feels. And photographers will be present to capture the good, bad, & ugly.

These races resemble life. There are successes to celebrate & lessons to be learned. Some of us will reach a goal quicker than others, but there’s purpose in the timing. The struggle might be very real for some, & be a breeze for others. These races are a constant reminder to be mindful. No two journeys are the same. Races serve as a valuable lesson in that we should be grateful & aware simultaneously. Acknowledging our diversity allows us to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness breeds kindness. And kindness is king! Can I get an Amen?! By seeing each other in the middle of the race we are able to understand one another’s obstacles, making the finish that much sweeter.

You don’t need to race to run a mile in someone else’s Nikes, you just need an open mind & a positive spirit. We don’t need to have the same reasons for running or views in life to be kind to one another. See the gift in each day, each run, each race, & each person. Recognize their value. Grab yourself some positive perspective & be a nice human.

Recently I was privileged enough to volunteer at a cancer benefit hosted by a very dear friend. The game was golf. The players were women of all shapes & sizes, but each of them shared two commonalities: everything was pink & they had all, in someway, been affected by that nasty C word. Despite the heaviness that surrounds breast cancer, the atmosphere was light, full of laughter, & very energetic. Ahh yes, these are my people! I love it!

The tournament got started & as a volunteer I was asked to deliver snacks & drinks to those on the course. I know, it was a tough as it sounds. I spent the afternoon mingling with so many inspirational ladies, that I couldn’t help but be grateful for this day. On course there were “Power Drive” opportunities where a seasoned male golfer would be sure to land your team close to the pin for a small monetary donation. You need to know that the handsome guy setting these ladies up is a real smooth talker. His goal was 100% participation & a good time. No group was leaving that tee box without a Power Drive & a smile on their faces. This dude could sell ice to an Eskimo & I watched him hit until each group was happy all afternoon. His swing was consistent & successful with every foursome that came his way. Until it wasn’t.

One group rolled up & the vibe immediately shifted. The lead golfer slid out of her cart & began conversation with a complaint. Another partner chimed in, while the last two hung back in their vinyl seats. They wanted little to do with the friendly banter, refused snacks, scoffed at the drink choices & questioned the leaderboard. At one point they aired their grievances about the set up of play & that their course was unfair in relationship to the other groups. It wasn’t. And, I’m not here to bash, so you should know that they weren’t mean in any way. That’s not my point. Just negative. There were four of us hearing their negative tone, yet never once did we offer it back. Instead, like an unwritten pact, we collectively met each complaint with positivity. The day was built on the foundation of fun & fellowship. If you’re in it to win it, this just isn’t the venue. Negative Nancy & her tribe missed the memo, but we felt like a solid shot would lift their mood. So, it was time to Power Drive. First swing, pulls left. Ok, no biggie. Second swing, left again. Hhhmm, odd. Third swing, wide right. For real? Fourth swing, too far. Was this a fluke? A final ball was called for & my man lands in just on the edge of the green. Not his best work, but it got the job done. The group still wasn’t satisfied & hit their own ball almost as a challenge swing, but ultimately used the Power Drive. As they drove away, each of us looked at one another knowing we all felt those vibes. People, it has to be said that this guy didn’t mess up all day. All day long he hit ball after ball on to that green without fail. Why now? It was pretty clear & I think we can all agree, it was bad energy. Like osmosis it permeated his stroke.

These ladies were missing the point. They were so caught up in the W that they weren’t seeing the true meaning of this day. The event was created to honor, memorialize & celebrate a beautiful woman, who was not alone, in losing her battle to this disease. This tournament was not meant to improve your golf handicap, rather to inspire, connect, & rejoice in the strength of these women who have bravely fought the good fight. Annually they gather with goals of laughing until their cheeks hurt, balancing a cellphone, Bluetooth speaker & a drink on a wild cart ride, & maybe, just maybe, winning a door prize.

We are what we attract. I believe that more & more everyday. Your life mirrors that idea. If you approach your circumstances bearing negative notions, that’s exactly what you’ll receive in return. But, here’s the good stuff. If you choose to let go of the inconsequential things & focus on the positives, you will reap the benefits. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Everyday should have moments of laughter, mood changing smiles, big hugs, & genuine happiness. Which leads me to the next foursome.

Picture it. Late afternoon, four older women who have previously participated in the tournament, roll up to the Power Drive with big smiles & laughter. They each hop out of their respective carts and we all exchange hugs. Drinks are toasted, snacks are shared, pictures are snapped & a quick peak at their scorecard reveals that they’ve had a very good day. Shhh. We kept that on the down low. They eagerly hand over their donation for the drive & our go to man is all teed up. I know you know what happened. I know you can feel it? He connects & drives that little white ball within feet of the pin. First shot. By far his best hit all day. It was perfect. So again, I ask, why now? Easy. WE ATTRACT WHAT WE ARE! This group knew they were doing well, but that wasn’t the purpose of the day. They were there for all the right reasons & their game just happened to follow. We celebrated with hugs, joked a little more & wished them well as they played on. At the dinner & award ceremony it was announced that our fabulous foursome with the positively, radiant energy won. They won the whole thing! Coincidence? Nope. I’ll say it again, we are the energy we attract.

Our other group did not win. Shocker, right? Oddly enough, they explained to us earlier that they had participated for over ten years & in their eyes they had an unfair playing experience more than once. Now, wait a minute. You mean to tell me that they didn’t care for how they faired at this tournament & have come back repeatedly? Regardless of the facts, this group has been actively placing themselves in a situation they don’t care for & produces negative feelings. For over ten years? What in the actual? Don’t do that. You hear me? If you ask me, deep down they want to have that feel good fun. That belly laughter kind of fun that surrounds this day is something they crave & that’s their reason for return.

So, to that, I offer a little tip ladies, take a good look at the other foursomes. Really look. Some of them can’t find their scorecard, several aren’t sure if they still have a full set of clubs, one group has likely lost a player in the weeds who couldn’t hold it any longer, & the next group is holding up play to get a selfie. While it sounds like a hot mess, it’s exactly what a person who has to face the uncertainty of cancer needs more than anything. It’s the perfect afternoon for anyone who has ever had to accept that diagnosis either personally or on behalf of a loved one. The carefree spirit of that day should carry over to your every day. Because the reality of it is, you don’t HAVE to play, you GET to. This day should act as your reminder that tomorrow is never promised. So ladies, I say you make sure this tournament IS on your calendar for next year. But this time around, put your positive pants on & toss your scorecard in the nearest sand trap because you’re annual return has purpose. There is a lesson to be learned & next year might be the one where it finally all makes sense. FORE real!