That First Time Courage

The other day I discovered that a friend had signed up for her first marathon, which just so happened to be the very same race where I debuted in the marathon distance. Without much thought, I sent her a message of approval and promised, come race day, that I’d be on the sidelines cheering her through one of the toughest physical feats we humans elect to attempt. I was thrilled for her and thank goodness my excitement spoke louder than the fear.

Yes. Fear.

All of the emotions of that first time came rushing back. And before I go on, settle down Fifty Shades fans, I’m not referring to THAT first time. You know my grandma reads this, right? However, even she could agree here that THAT too takes some real, first time courage.

The emotion I’m referencing is that knotted stomach, tight chest, tears welling, second guessing kind of fear. It’s the feeling you have just before you step into the unknown. We love comfort. It keeps us safe. We desire belonging. It shows us love. But we also admire adventure. It makes us feel alive. So how can we have both? How can we feel safe, yet quench our thirst for something more? It takes a tall glass of courage.

Reflecting on that friend’s decision to toe the line brings clarity to why I was so excited for her. I know she can run the miles. I’m certain. I know she will finish what she started. It’s a fact. What lit my spirit was her courage to try. That sh#t is scary. Pardon me. I love me some Jesus, but I cuss a little bit. In all seriousness, I look at what she’s about to train for and embark on with true admiration. Yep, I’ve been there, done that many times over, but that’s exactly why I want to be her biggest cheerleader. Her courage to purposely place herself at the corner of uncomfortable and a breakthrough is inspiring.

The truth is she’s going to face cold, early mornings, dark workouts, sore muscles, solo trips on the struggle bus, and social life sacrifices. But, she will also triumph a member of an elite group who can conquer 26.2. She will proudly cross off a bucket list item and serve as motivation for onlookers. However, the most incredible honor she will carry on has yet to be mentioned. In choosing a goal, committing to the plan, and being consistent in her pursuit, she bears the honor of keeping a promise. She will forever know that she kept a promise she made to herself. That’s the gift that keeps on giving.

You know, people look at each other with a comparative lens day in and day out, analyzing what makes one person better than the other. Drives me crazy! My rebuttal? Comparison is the thief of joy. First & foremost, we have no idea what it’s like on their side of the fence. Think about it. What makes one person’s marathon workout different than someone else’s walk? Both require decision making, effort, and execution, right? For me it boils down to having the courage to try. The courage to set an expectation and reach for it, fail or fly.

I recently received a card that drove this point home through inadvertent criticism. In the message I was described as “intimidating” and as you might imagine I was taken aback by the notion. Me? I’m outgoing. I preach kindness. I wrap myself in positivity like a fashionable winter scarf. This can’t be how people perceive me. Can it? Eventually, with the proper processing time, I was able to see it. The lesson written between the lines. What comes naturally or “easy” for some seems insurmountable for others. Therefore, someone who’s confident seems intimidating, while others who are introverted are perceived as weak. At times we fail to see the courage in others. That courage comes in so many forms…

The courage to talk in a meeting.

The courage to join a gym.

The courage to go on a date.

The courage say no.

The courage to wear that bathing suit.

The courage not to have a drink.

The courage to be a parent.

The courage to wake up and workout.

The courage to engage in conversation.

The courage to tackle a marathon.

The courage to change hair color.

The courage to use a babysitter.

The courage to ask for help.

The courage to admit wrong doing.

The courage to walk away.

The courage to be make up free.

The courage to take that leap of faith.

The courage to tell others how you feel.

The courage to just be yourself.

It’s all very real courage. In order to appreciate one another completely we have to consider the amount of courage needed just to take that first step into the unknown. Conversely, if you’re not tapping into your source of courage, you better start sis. Yeah you! I mean, I’m not trying to point fingers, but I’m calling you out. Do yourself a favor and make things uncomfortable. That thing you’ve been wanting to do? Do it. I want you to make a promise to yourself, TODAY, and keep it.

Wake up.

Sign up.

Say yes.

Follow your heart.

Take action.

Prove yourself.

Make today the day you show some first time courage.